halloween weekend

It is a widely documented fact that the inner slut is given
a free pass to get out on halloween. But it seems like
stupidity also is forgiven during dress-like-a-ho day.
Some of my observations from the past weekend...
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1) ET calls me up on Wednesday to talk about the party
preparations. Suddenly, he said that he didn't know
how much booze to buy. I was accustomed to such zingers
from Jedi, but ET's googly stumped me. I controlled my
laughter and told him that he had mentioned that it was
BYOB in his evite. He was shocked and proceeded to check
the evite and be greeted by his own words - "strictly BYOB".
I sincerely wish that ET doesn't have party planner as one
of his career moving choices when his midlife crisis hits him.
That will be like SpiceTooth trying to become a nightclub
owner.
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2) Jedi and I left for the city in his car on Saturday.
He noticed a white-sneakered H1 guy trying to cross
the parking lot and was about to run over him (quixtar
has scarred him for life) before he spotted a petite H4
dutifully walking a few paces behind her pati. The car's
automatic female collision avoidance system switched
on. She was carrying some homecooked food in a vessel
in her hand. So we assumed that the couple was going
to some weekend get together with fellow H1 families.
Since she was wearing an odd assortment of clothes,
we further divined that they were headed to a halloween
party.

She had skin-tight pants with some splotchy brown
patterns on them. In the dim light, it looked like an
effort to mimic some animal's skin. She had a skirt
of some crazy hue over the pants. Since she had
covered the rest of her body with an oversize coat,
we couldn't see the total effect/intent of the costume.
After they crossed the lot, Jedi drove his car alongside
them, rolled down the window and asked the H4,
"What costume are you wearing? What are you
supposed to be?".

Till then the H1 guy was having a smug smile, happy
that the two sex-starved desi bachelors were ogling
his trophy wife. But after the harmless question, both
of them had the classic caught-in-the-headlights
look. With the squeakiest voice possible, she says,
"No. This is not a costume". The car's jetspeed
emergency escape system switched on and luckily
the couple didn't hear our cackles. Hope they have
a Gap in hell when I get there.
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3) ET's place was real quiet when we got there. And
the audio system refused to work right. The witch was
threatening to curse us all when the manual and the
efforts of four engineers got the audio system working.
From then on the noise levels increased steadily.

The arrival of the girl with the pregnant nun costume
opened the floodgates and the jokes started gushing out
from the inebriated baguth members. One of the names
she had picked out for her kid was Jesus. Her sister
(the milkshake) was telling Jedi that she was a teacher
at some suburban highschool. I chimed in saying that the
nun was the spiritual counselor at the same school. Before
the girls could respond, Jedi said "Really? That is so cool.".
I don't know if the girls laughed for my joke or his slowness
in getting my joke. The jokes continued till they had to leave
early - milkshake had to meet french fries and the nun had
to meet Brother Alfonso and return his bedroom slippers.

Seeing the nun grind ET's bony behind with her beachball
belly might be one of the most hilarious and disturbing sights
that I have seen. ET must have broken atleast four
commandments with that single despicable act.
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4) All doubts as to why J-man is referred to as 'Jedi' in
these blog entries evaporated on Sunday night when he
made a comment during a repeat showing of the movie
'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'. Everytime the TV channel
went to commercials, they were showing the trailers for
the upcoming horror movies. Jedi, in his most
matter-of-fact voice, said that the preponderance of gore
on the screen was due to it being the Halloween weekend.
Scott Adams says in one of his books that one of the
common characters in a company meeting is the MOB
(master of the obvious) who just adds useless, painfully
obvious information to something that the speaker said.
J-man is the master of all such MOB - the Jedi Master
of Obvious.
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PS: Managed to switch the comforters with ET. I'm
sleeping happily dreaming about spooning with
Alessandra Ambrosio.